Oceans

An Oceans session in full swing

05 Oct 2009

A support group is helping South Canterbury kids adjust to the death or absence of loved ones.
The Oceans Grief and Loss Programme, run by Anglican Care South Canterbury, is for children who are affected by separation, divorce, or the sickness or death of someone close to them. More than 60 children aged between 5 and 15 years have attended groups since the programme started 2 years ago.
“It’s not counselling; it’s very much facilitating peer support. What really works with the programme is that the kids are with other kids who are having a similar experience,” says coordinator Rhona Anderson, who administers and often helps run the groups.

Children from as far away as Waimate and Geraldine attend the support groups, which meet at Anglican Care’s Timaru premises. The children are enrolled by parents or referred by local social service agencies and Child, Youth and Family.
Each support group is made up of three to five children of a similar age and meets weekly for an hour after school. The groups run for 10 weeks (a school term) and are led by two adult facilitators. Often two groups operate during a term, but on different nights.
The room the children use is a “colourful kid’s environment,” says Rhona, who is also responsible for training the facilitators. The programme is unique to South Canterbury but is based on similar programmes used throughout Australasia.
“The exercises we do encourage opening up, letting [feelings] out, and healing,” says Rhona. “We have rituals, such as lighting candles, that acknowledge and name the people who the children are missing from their daily lives.”
Siblings are not placed in the same group, so that every child has “individual time” to express themselves. “One child [in a family] may want to express things differently,” explains Rhona.

Feedback from parents and children has been “astonishingly positive”. Rhonda recalls one instance of transformation: “I wasn’t able to gauge if one particular boy - who was initially quite quiet - was getting much out of it. I rang his mother, who said there’d been a huge improvement at home and he was less violent and angry.”

“Oceans is very much for the children: it’s their journey and their special time to talk about what’s going on for them,” she says.

WORD: MEGAN BLAKIE